And if tree’s could think, I believe I’d be a tree; not really of course, but everyone would have forgotten I am a girl
...for I have not moved in years, only gotten taller.
Palindrome Me 11 Ways
Turn down the volume
Cautious- both feet
I’m trying to sleep
While you pick at my face.
Now unconscious
I’m standing
and you’re lying in bed
There is smoke - like red rushes
Infesting my head.
And I keep on thinking...
I wish it were him.
Softer now.)
Chemicals
I am a poison chemical
in your drink.
You are a glass
with hard sips to sink.
But before I waste my toxic money on you…
sunken man,
I turn into the animal
that knows you’re fucking and
With a cut dick.
we only stand on broken land
With trickery.
I have lost all tranquility
to mute bickering.
Take out your firearms
and fire up.
We all go down
when he’s not around
and he’s not around.
Yeah every bottle that gets downed
I drown.
I’ll take the wasted vomiting
Cause I was the sucker
Who took a name
with lesser aim
but we’re all the same
You busted fuck.
Asphyxiate
And watch me now
PS
The Recluse
Two dismal lives, one white structure.
Within the quiet flat pushpins break stagnant air.
We lie in a shy attempt.
Existing in slow melodies and in black lungs.
On my knee’s begging, “stay yellow sun!”
But cave dweller beckons.
A stir insanity induced by terminal illness.
Slowly but surely I build my escape,
Leaving parts of me “I am hidden to be found!”
We do recall, I am the recluse.
PS
Sinners
There’s no perception of time as I drown. Prying my own eyes open with the ribbons that wrap around my arms and legs, just to scope out the boy with blow in his nose. I consider what I’ve been told, but keep swimming deeper into the unknown. My skin becomes scales, I forget how walking goes. And where does he belong on the list after all? When finally we all become the fish, nothing matters at all.
PS
Awake
Around me they open hollow insides, spill your guts.
A pink mouth, but I am foreign to the sound and mute what surrounds.
I have turned the lights down in my bedroom now. Miles away and still I feel you here, have you held me yet?
We are not boundaries, we are limitless twisted beautiful.
A suffocating transgression between bright daylight and the harsh night, watch through mine.
So I am drunk in your spell. What world's we will see and what breaths we will take.
Things like us never know, we know what we see and we have no books to read.
You are awake all the time, I am poking at your window and you see me all the while. Have you held me yet?
PS
You
Emerging you, spark lungs in wiring objections to keep wide an option.
Moving but one hair from a whitened cheek in prayer it will change shade.
Your empathy brought a tide upon us all, we are reborn, and we are swelling.
PS
Go Home
So he’ll shake and say if caught in spell to fight ruling with age
What lines do I stand on with balance and ways?
Attend the eyes to things bigger than a dry fricative lock
Smoking like you like it and clipping it when you’ve realized
Will it be like you wanted to tell him?
I can see his tricking but I’ll keep drinking.
Tell him what the scent was up close
I’ve been waiting, him up close, him soft and fair
Never tell in whispers
PS
Assumptions
Consistent echo of each word he’s committed; made evident.
Recoiling within a circular room are estimations, deceptions.
Perfect placement incites line fragments, disarray.
Memory triggers intertwine and device his literal meaning.
I analyze his face and assembly each meeting.
In secret I check for bolts and wire, obscure but tangible.
Lifeless eyes and metal hands bewitch me, earthborn maybe.
Assumptions become options, like dividing his being.
Let me become your machine, stare through the holes that watch me…
And give in, to definition.
PS
Letters
Existing in a pool of water arrest.
Mosquito’s buzzing from the center pull
I am bound to repetition. Clothed in moss.
Excelling. I arrive at her bedside drenched.
We bounced around the walls channeling a force.
Dear woman I am dying to save you.
PS
Acceptance
Scene one;
Stark naked and proud with white washed, hairless skin…
In a swimming pool, dimly lit by calm yellow.
Moving fish emerge in the long tunnel of light.
I set them free with wide hands to give life.
My eyes fix to the sky while treading water.
A single red dot beams from an airplane arriving.
I am alive in Dead Land, and I will be…
Bright eyed, and intertwined with you like tied strings.
This is a soft breath of clarity…
Existing in winter, with green trees and iced teas in mind.
PS
I am
Volume
The sounds off beat
She will open wide a big white room
Pink bodied young girls
And we hook them up to machines to study the heart rate
Like one woman stands nude before a mirror
She likes her soft hipbones protruding gracefully
She will touch the glass and her sex gets cut
Two from one to explore
You will call it Narcissism
I am
Eight lips
Fill them with your love.
Fill them with your sex
I’m watching through the door
And I will be a woman.
Light
Stained fingers pushing curtains
black ink
Words like rabbits in holes
digging fiercely
Cold feet, ten places to touch
teeth to glass
Mouth to the mirror, He could lead me to
A silhouette of light
that is you
Tried to feel, only a fragment
Bitten nails and hammering down bits
Into sand
Quick fixes, meantime dwells forever.
Sparks on the tongue
Ready to blow, to show myself
Like artwork on walls
I paint
A picture of God
She and He are
Blankets covering windows.
Where
Is
My
Light?
Placement is Not Logical
There’s a boy on the street
And he’s singing to me
Tight at the feet
Taken a beat, like
Freeways and ashtrays
I feel awake
Bus stops I’ve waited at
They come to meet me there
But I’m not there.
3AM
I left a cigarette burning at 3am.
I’m half asleep walking streets
And I’ve no idea, all these consequences.
I’m like a fiend and frequently have been…
The feline under human skin
10099 sleep synd.
Overall this is the summery of an inducement
A carry-on, a remote control
And he talks over the PA
Speaking of its symptoms
1-0-0-9-9 Sleep syndrome…
Gemini's should never fly.
I stretched my limbs to act upon
and to smile down in the Lucid dream
that was made for you.
In day and in sleep
The tranny’s dying
And I think we're landing
And I swear I'm leaving...
Gemini's should never fly by air.
Angry Men and Masses
This new technology
The slow fan of an expanded oxygen vent
That perspires generously
When it rots from the center
and masks the white faces of a million men.
I hear the glass shake deprived
I have four brass knuckles
I dare you to swing exit and dive.
Devour
I am quite suddenly
Pure vulnerability
For sin
He would be dressed in white
A calm, a hook, a bite
Oh sweet, prevarication.
Extend his hand
He would just
Pull me in
Wide, his eyes, feline fixation
The constant blue
Of déjà vu
Fuck The Boy With Sticks
Wide white eyes translucent glow with sticks that start the show
The boy in his bedroom and the smell of his green
Red heat and blue screens, four fingers to fuck and fracture
Quiet mouths in agitated nausea
Two toed creatures and lucid sleepers
Drowning fish in Mexico and phantom pains before the cut
The missing limb and the lost Gemini twin
Pretty homeless girls with pearly white wings
And the hunger to keep them all attached to strings.
The Definition of Rum and Coke
A story coming from one person
with a million faces, and a million names.
Something worse than a Gemini.
Like a writer, I choose my identity, decide when the suns coming out.
I could hold out my hand, and beckon you
Or decide in my mind, you will be coming on over
But either way, you’ll be standing with me.
I can make you fall in love.
Anyone you’ve seen
You’ve seen me.
But what a contradiction
to give a million masks, and steal them back.
I’m sure we’ve all had our own souls
back when there were only trees.
I started a revolution of the mind.
I did not document these thoughts.
I took it upon myself to attach you all to strings.
And I’d say
Define me.
The definition of rum and coke.
